Subject Yourself
The pay off of doing the hard things
It never gets easier; you just get stronger… and that’s the point.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I have either heard or shared that sentiment.
By the guidance of some wisdom that seems no one wants to hear, but you need to hear in the moment.
Maybe it’s doing a hard physical challenge, maybe it’s overcoming grief, maybe it’s simply doing the work you’ve been avoiding — it’s the hard times that we subject ourselves to that help build resilience when we least expect ourselves to need it.
This past week, I got to spend 6 beautiful and loving days with my wife in Denmark.
It was an amazing chance to watch and support her in her Professional Setting as she presented her Research at a conference, the first time in almost 9 years of being together that I got to do so.
After the conference, we got to spend a few days soaking up Danish culture and enjoying our time physically together, which is a rarity in our Long-Distance Marriage.
It was absolutely amazing creating those moments, which are now mere memories to look back on. (What a trip that is, huh?)
But, like any vacation, eventually it comes to an end.
You pack your bags and check in for your flights and out of your Airbnb.
Time winds down.
After having such a pleasant and easy time, I had a weird feeling that something unexpected was going to happen.
And that gut feeling came true…
As I went to check in online for my flights home, an error message kept coming up - no worries; we were taking a train to the airport the night before our early morning flight, so we’ll handle this tonight.
We arrive at the Airport and speak with the Floor Agent there.
Through some broken English back and forth, we find out I don’t have a ticket issued for my flight the next morning, which is prohibiting from checking in.
The agent does his thing and can’t find a solution.
He calls up the airline; they can’t do anything as it was changed through a different airline, apparently (weird, right?).
They say I need to call that airline.
I call, they say I need to call the other airline…
I call back, and they say I need to call the travel agency I booked it through.
… The travel agency didn’t have a number.
I’m on the phone for 2 hours, going back and forth.
For the first time in a long time, I can feel Anxiety and Stress COURSING through my veins.
The tingling. The buzzing. The shaking. The heart pounding.
I just want to run.
I just want to yell.
I just need to MOVE.
But I can’t.
I’m in an airport.
It’s no one’s fault. None of that will create a solution I am in desperate need of.
I pause.
I think back on all the hard stuff I’ve been through before.
The hard things I subjected myself to before—
How did I calm down then?
Got it.
I take a deep breath.
I say The Lord’s Prayer and the Hail Mary a few times.
I throw my own Hail Mary up to the Big Man upstairs that this gets figured out.
The shakes stop, my heart rate lowers.
A thought comes into my head —
“Legs 2 & 3 are fine; it’s just Leg 1 of my travel that needs fixing. What if I just bought a one-way for the same flight I am supposed to be on?”
My wife and I look up tickets; there are plenty available at the steep cost of $1,000…
“Screw it, I need to get home. Lemme ask the agent if this is a possibility.”
The agent is a new guy, as the others went home for the night.
I re-explain the situation, and he seems unsure.
“I am new here. Lemme make a few calls for you.”
A few moments and calls later, my boarding passes were printed out.
I didn’t have to drop a grand. There was an easy fix on the original airline’s side that was overlooked originally.
I felt so relieved I could cry.
After a few hours, we get to the hotel, eat, and catch a couple of hours of sleep.
The next day of travel was no walk in the park.
Plane Delays and Re-bookings.
I sat there and gave it all up.
Annoyed but unbothered, I am on my way home; I’ll get there when I get there— it is what it is.
30 hours of travel, and I was finally home.
It was a wild 40-hour experience.
But I couldn’t help but think how it could have gone so much worse if I handled it differently…
If I gave in to the immediate emotional pull of being upset and angry when things went sideways.
I thank God that I have had the experiences of putting myself, voluntairly into hard situation before to know Feelings are Facts.
The ice baths. The hard training sessions. The hard conversations. The meditations.
Doing those things when I didn’t feel like it… It paid off right there in the hellaish travel day I had to experience.
Subjecting myself to the hard, voluntarily taught me how to deal with the reluctant hardships life gives us.
Rarely is the hard thing we put ourselves through for immediate pay off, moreso its for the unforeseen hardship down the road.